Birds, Bees and Naughty Bits

Not long ago, apropos of nothing, Jiejie asked me how babies get into ladies' tummies.
These questions are always a good gateway to talking about adoption, but Jiejie kept steering the conversation back to the topic I was not really prepared for.

"Babies grow from a sort of seed," I told her. "The seed is planted by the daddy and when it's in the mommy it begins to grow."
A horrified look crossed her face, but was quickly replaced by the scrunchy-faced curiosity of a junior scientist.

"Does she EAT the seed?"
"Oh, no. She doesn't eat it."
"Well, how does it get in her tummy then?"
"Ummmm," I said.
"How, Mom?"
I paused, hoping that the doorbell or phone would ring or that a small kitchen fire might break out to command our attention.
"It gets there by another road."
"What road, Mom?" She was getting a little impatient.
"It goes in through her vagina," I said with a gulp. This is a word Jiejie has known since she was 2 and it was information she eagerly disseminated to everyone she knew. When she was 3, I knew she had taught the babysitter's 5-year-old the word because both girls pronounced it the same way, as if it started with the letter "p," as in, "I can almost do the splits but I can't get my pagina to touch the floor."
"Mom, how does the daddy get the seed into her vagina?" she asked, her pronunciation crisp and correct at 6 and a half.
"This is really going to sound silly, honey," I said. "The seed comes out of the daddy's penis."
"Really??" she said, wide-eyed. "Then when it comes out he pouts it in her vagina?"
"Not exactly," I said. "And this is the part that is going to sound funny. He puts his penis in her vagina and the seed comes out."
"Oohhhh," said Jiejie. "He sorta shoots it in?"
"Sort of," I said.
"That's really funny," she said, and moved on to another topic.